In Retrospect
by VeganVampire107
Summary: Reflecting back to their past of teenage angst, Rock Paper Scissors, reciting movie lines, nail polish obsessions, fragile romances, and drive-in movie theatres, Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura know that some things never change. AU. SasuNaruSaku friendship.
1. Love and Pillows

**A/N: I've been pretty mentally weighed down lately, and I wanted to make a randomly humorous story for Naruto. So I came up with this. These one-shots differ in length. Some of them are a page or two long, others aren't, but updating will be much easier for me - I work better with comedy updates than angst/drama/romance updates, for some reason. Maybe it's because it's easier for me to write comedy . . . er, I'll have to work on that. The plot is looking back on Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura's life as friends and everything they did together. I like the term 'In retrospect', so I came up with the title and plot for this story just from that. (Kind of funny, actually.)**

**So, this story will basically be: **

**-An AU**

**- Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke - friendship **

**- Sasuke/Sakura - romance**

**I just started writing one-shots based on things that happened in my life, and came up with this story! I take requests for topics, by the way. This will probably be a long story. I will update ASAP - review, please. I appreciate them! Thanks for everyone who has read and reviewed _Ashes_, by the way. Oh, and also, ANs will usually be in bold. I like doing that to make sure the story style of text is different from the notes. Oh well. I hope you like it . . . .**

**Standard Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto. Too bad for me. **

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**In Retrospect**

**1: Love and Pillows**

Sasuke sighed, staring at Sakura as she poked and prodded at the new pillow he had bought her from the store, the same pillow that she had finally chosen after surfing the Internet and home shopping network channels for days.

"Sakura -" Sasuke said, but she interrupted him (as usual) and said, "This isn't firm enough!"

With a small sigh, Sasuke said, "I'm sure that it is firm enough."

With a little annoyed throaty noise, Sakura rolled her eyes angrily and said, "See Sasuke, feel how soft it is!", and promptly took the pillow and thwacked it across his stomach, sending him falling on to the bed.

Who says that love and pillows are easy?

**-Owari-**

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**(Yes. this happened to me. Ha-ha . . .)**

**Review please! 5 or more? Thanks for reading!**


	2. How Old are You?

**A/N: Here is chapter 2! I always have trouble with titles, so forgive me if they aren't exactly original, perfect, etc. Chapter 3 will be be posted momentarily. I have more chapters in store, but give me some feedback if you can and let me know a topic/scenario you would like to see in this story. I will try to do something with your ideas! **

**Standard Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto. Sheesh . . . .**

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**In Retrospect**

**2: How Old Are You?**

"How old are you?"

" . . . hn."

"What does THAT mean?! You're not even supposed to say that!" Sakura said, throwing up her petite arms in frustration.

"I'm not saying it," Sasuke said coolly, flipping through his new book on boring world history. Yawn.

In anger, and also pure silliness, Sakura snatched the book up and threw it behind her shoulder, and it hit Naruto over the head.

"OW!"

"Tee-hee, sorry Naruto-chan," Sakura gave her best innocent smile over her shoulder and that stupid girly grin that Sasuke always slapped himself mentally for liking.

With a quirked eyebrow, Sasuke just stared incredulously at his girlfriend, trying to decode her obsession with this . . . "_Twilight"_, the silly (tch, yeah right, Sasuke) vampire romance book and the putrid (according to him and him only) movie.

Giving him an adoring 'puppy dog pout' as she so affectionately called it, Sakura waited for Sasuke to give in. And, of course, with a stifled groan, he did.

" . . ."

"Come on, Sasuke."

"Nn . . . Seventeen."

"And how long have you been seventeen?"

" . . . A while. There, are you delighted now?"

"Yes, I am," Sakura said, kissing the top of his head, trying to picture Edward's face on Sasuke's all the while.

**-Owari-**

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**I know everyone really likes Twilight, myself included, so you'll find some one-shots based on the book/movie from time to time. **

**I hope you liked this chapter! 3 will be posted now. Review, please. Thank you!**


	3. Rock, Paper, Hn

**A/N: Here's chapter 3. I'm off to another dreadful family party. Lucky me, it's at a restaurant this time. Aren't I so fortunate? Sheesh . . . review to make this day suck less. **

**Standard Disclaimer - I will never own Naruto, period. **

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**In Retrospect**

**3: Rock, Paper, Hn**

"Rock . . ."

"Paper . . ."

". . ."

"What the – Sasuke! It's your line!"

"Hn . . . Scissors."

"SHOOT!" Both Naruto and Sakura screamed, and Sasuke just stared blankly as Naruto and Sakura both pulled out . . . .

Paper?

"Ack!" Sakura cried, looking incredulously at Sasuke and his still curled fist from waiting to draw. Not that he really planned to, actually.

"Did he even do _anything . . .?_" Naruto grumbled, kicking at the asphalt on the playground around their favorite sandbox ( well, Sakura and Naruto's favorite sandbox, Sasuke didn't pick favorites . . . ever) and pouted at Sasuke's lameness in their favorite game.

"Actually, that was just the way l was holding my hand."

"But it looks like a _rock._ That means you ACTUALLY LOST."

" . . ."

Even Sasuke felt a little ashamed as Sakura high-fived Naruto, who pouted because he felt like Sasuke let him win (which would bug him all day long up to the point of him having random spasmodic outbursts), and Sakura promptly skipped off to tell every single toddler and child on the swing-sets that the great Uchiha Sasuke had finally been beaten.

**-Owari-**

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**Who would have guessed that Sasuke could really lose at something like Rock Paper Scissors? **

**I hope you liked the title. I love that little Sasuke-type word. It's funny . . . . Review please. Wish me luck at the dreaded P.F. Chang's . . . ughosity x 1,000,000,000-infinity. **


	4. Chess For Dummies

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**In Retrospect**

**4:** **Chess For Dummies**

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A chess board was laid out in front of them. It was Sasuke's best collector's set, well, Sakura's actually, because the rich little raven had bought it for her a few days ago. The pieces were red and white and carved well.

Plus, it was the Twilight version of the game, and that was basically the only reason Sakura'd wanted it. Hmm . . . shocking?

There the two sat, while Naruto was growing frusturated and making annoying little growls as he tried to play with his stupid paddle ball, not having enough patience for the game . . . how surprising . . . .

"And this is the horse - I mean, the knight, right?"

"**Hnn. **. ." Sasuke made an even more annoyed 'hn' in his own language at Sakura's stupidity.

"No-ooo . . . that's a PAWN." Even he was growing annoyed at having to repeat the names of every single piece every single minute of their horrendous game.

"Oh. Okay!" Sakura said cheerfully, and dumbly moved her king forward -

Only to be led into checkmate. AGAIN.

Sasuke slapped his forehead and sighed, as Sakura meanwhile was in her own little universe. ". . .And I am going to call you my Edward, because you are the king . . ." Sasuke just listened quietly as Sakura cooed to the white colored king chess piece, acting like it was her pet, or something.

With an unusually genuine little smile, Sasuke patted the top of her head, letting her eyes twinkle as the game was forgotten and she recreated the _Breaking Dawn_book cover on the board, Naruto smacking himself in the eye with the paddle's ball again.

Simplicity never really hurt anybody.

**-Owari-**

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_**Notes:** _

_Another quick update inspired from real life. How tragic . . .? Reviews are appreciated. Another few chapters are being uploaded right now._

**-VV**


	5. Soap Lovers

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**In Retrospect**

**5: Soap Lovers**

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It was the episode, according to the Little Miss Know-It-All, where Chloe goes into labor in the cabin after The Reveal, and Cane will suddenly turn his back on their marriage like 'he has a fatal love-ESP attraction with Lily!' on the show, and oh, the drama. . .!

Sasuke didn't care for drama.

Another soap opera? Yes. Boring? To Sasuke, it couldn't get any more dull.

But meanwhile, the two other stooges ( though, did Sasuke actually count as the third idiot . . .? ) were gasping at the shocking scenes of 'hurt, betrayal, and lust' presented on Sakura's flat screen.

Another snowy evening in Konohagakure meant definite trouble, and somehow, Sasuke thought with an imaginary rain cloud pouring wet misery over his head, he was the one who always suffered. . . .

"Look, Naru-chan! It's Katherine! She's going to be tricked by psycho-case Kay and Murphy will be her white knight and rescue her!" Sakura squealed, and Naruto shook his head like some sort of sage/wise-man who had seen every soap ever aired.

He probably has, Sasuke thought with a shudder. How terribly odd. . . but what did he expect from a boy who still ate fun dip and dressed up as Blossom for Halloween? ( Naruto said he had the blond hair for it, after all, and that baby blue was his color. )

"Sasuke, would you be my white night if Kay stole me away?" Sakura asked, batting her eyelashes. For once, Sasuke lifted his dreary mood – sort of - and narrowed his eyes with a small smile and threw a pillow at the pink haired girl's head, sending them all in to laughter with the drama of Cane, endangering birthing processes and kidnapping filling the air along along side their voices.

**-Owari-**

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_**Notes:** _

_A little weird, but that entire plot scene above was on the latest episode of The Young and the Restless, and I loved it. :3 Weird, ne? I'm sure no one ever thought me to be the soap-loving type. Well, neither did I but that's what happens when you flip through channels when you have tonsillitis! I totally picture Sakura to be the soap-type of girl who could win Naruto over with her favorite channels, so I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are appreciated. _

**-VV**


	6. Shut Up and Drive

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**In Retrospect**

**6: Shut Up and Drive**

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"Okay, are you pressing down on the clutch?" Sauske asked Sakura, a bead of sweat slowly traveling down his forehead.

The air was tense. Very, very tense. Even Naruto was fiddling around with a scrunchie he found underneath the car seat. Giving Sakura driving lessons in Naruto's uncle's old Sedan was not a wise idea, but when Sakura puts her mind to something, her little threats make just about anyone who doesn't feel like doing something suddenly feel like doing it after all.

"Yes, I do!" Sakura said, narrowing her eyes as I prepared to pull back gear shift, but Sasuke's aura of black doom filled the car and Sakura shuddered away from his icy grip.

"Don't. Even. Think about it." Sasuke said this between gritted teeth. For the first time since family bingo night three years ago, he was actually afraid ( Bingo always scares people like Sasuke, it's too noisy and. . . _fun._ )

Naruto gasped and said, "Geez Sasuke, pull the stick out!"

Sasuke shot him a well-prepared glare and said in his matter-of-fact tone, "Do you want to die young, Naruto, before you can eat your 1,000th bowl of ramen?"

Looking truly terrified, Naruto said, "But, that's my life goal!-"

"Okay, then why don't you be quiet and let me handle this," Sasuke said off-handedly and turned back to Sakura, who was looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Sakura. Focus," Sasuke said, and she closed the mirror and gripped the wheel.

Wiping his forehead, Sasuke said, "Now, I want you to press on the break and slowly let go of the clutch while you press on the gas-"

"I got it!" Sakura exclaimed, and well . . . .who really knows what happened next. It was all a blur. . . .

It took about 2.5 seconds for Naruto to start screaming in the back seat while the engine made a 'VROOM' that caused Sasuke to almost lose a life and become pressed back against the passenger seat while the car suddenly jumped to life in the empty downtown parking lot.

As Sakura gave them the ride of their lives, with Naruto making a lot of thumping noises as he was glomped around in the back without a seat belt ( he was always the smart one ) and Sasuke snapped out of his stupor and tried to grab the wheel from the inexperienced, road-hellion Sakura.

Suddenly, Sakura let go of the wheel and they were swerving and-

_**Ga-lump.**_

That didn't sound very good, now, did it?

Naruto was shaking in the backseat, clutching the tacky sheepskin seat covers like he was trying not to loss consciousness. Sasuke breathed in shallowly, trying to avoid a dizzy spell coming on from an approaching stress attack.

"How did I do?" Sakura asked, sinking deep into the drivers seat while biting a Kelly Green painted finger nail.

A mass of undelivered letters and envelopes fluttering against the twilight with the spring breezes said it all.

**-Owari-**

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_**Notes:** _

_Just a quick story I made up based on a real life experience with my first lesson on how to drive. . . oh, the horror. I didn't hit any mailboxes, but in my dark mind, it was humorous to imagine a manical Sakura getting her first lesson and striking an innocent mailbox. Reviews are greatly appreciated. _

**_-VV_**


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